Deceptively Disgusting

As Jessica Seinfeld, author of Deceptively Delicious, and Missy Lane Chapman, author of The Sneaky Chef, duke it out in court over charges of plagarism, my children have already rendered a verdict--both books stink.

Now,whether or not Jessica Seinfeld lifted ideas from Chapman's book (and Slate makes a good case that she probably didn't), doesn't really concern me.  In fact, I think the idea of sneaking vegetables into children's meals is hardly rocket science--or original.  Most cooking parents have tried their hand at it at one time or another, with varying success.  Personally, I think liberally adding bacon to just about any dish will usually guarantee a child will eat it.  Or melting butter on top of it.  Lots of butter.

Those aren't particularly healthy choices, however, so we press on, looking for ways to get something green past the lips of our recalcitrant child.  What's wrong with these kids, anyway?  How do they survive to adulthood on crackers and pasta, with the occasional glass of juice to wash it all down?  Why are they even growing?  The only answer my pediatrician has ever given to me to these important questions was a heavy sigh and a question back to affirm whether or not my child was taking a daily (sugar-filled gummy worm-shaped) multi-vitamin every day.

Parents of toddlers will knowingly explain that it's exposure to a wide variety of foods that determines what a child will and will not eat.  I can only say to them: one day, you too will learn, my friend . . . you will learn the danger of advising the parents of older children in such a self-satisfied and self-congratulatory way.  Your child will eventually reject one, two, three, or even all of the foods they once so happily smeared in the vicinity of their mouths.  Some kids eat and some kids don't. You, the parent, have absolutely no control over it.

I think the phenomenon of supertasters is probably the best explanation for the vast disparity in children's eating habits.  Supertasters are people born with a more taste buds than the average person.  Before you start checking out your tongue and patting yourself on the back for the discerning palate you just know you posses, it's actually kind of a bad thing to have.  It means that most tastes are heightened for you, particularly bitter tastes.  You also can detect the taste of sulfur much more easily than the average person, and this means you aren't going to like cruciferous vegetables like broccoli or Brussels sprouts.  In fact, a lot of things taste bad to you and there's a lot of stuff you just won't eat.  Sound familiar?

At my house, there's me--I eat almost everything and so does my oldest daughter (the fish eye girl).  My youngest eats very, very little, and my husband falls more on my side of the scale than hers.  So, it's logical to think that, just like the sock seams that drove her crazy as a three-year old, her food probably annoys her as well and literally doesn't taste as good to her as it does to me.  Will she grow out of it?  Probably not, but if my hot-dog-eating sister is any gauge, my daughter will acquire a somewhat more varied diet as she ages (and realizes how hungry she is).

Still, good eaters and bad, both of my children hate the two books I mentioned above.  "Deceptively disgusting" is an exact quote from my oldest daughter.  I tried spinach and carrot brownies, spinach chicken nuggets, carrot pizza, and squash macaroni and cheese.  None of them fooled anybody--at all.  Perhaps my children are too old to be tricked, but then again, these are the same children that revolted when I tried to change brands of orange juice.  They've always been able to detect subtle differences in their food, even when they couldn't verbalize it (a bowl upended on the floor is a pretty dramatic non-verbal statement of culinary displeasure).

So, save your money.  Continue to fix food that's going straight from the plate to the garbage with no stops in between. That magic recipe that'll make your child eat and make you feel good about yourself isn't out there.  Even when a celebrity's wife tells you it is.  All we can do is wait patiently for them to grow up.

Comments

[veron]

The hubby and I took the supertaster's test. This is a strip that is laced with a compound that reacts differently on the tastebuds of different people. The taste is usually bitter. I first encountered this in a Harold Mc Gee seminar where the person right next to me spat out the strip and others didn't taste anything at all. Hubby and I are regular tasters. Oh, strips are available at http://supertastertest.com/ which I first encountered at the Amateur Gourmet's site so I think it's legit.

[Bookstore Piet]

As the father of a three year old - couldn't agree more. Covering up just doesn't work too well and there is no magic formula that will work for all. We just keep exposing F to as much as possible and, with no real pressure added, watch for the results (keeping in mind that what is eaten one is rejected the next and vice versa). How else would we find out that he likes onion (in any form) or miso soup (through a straw).

[Brandon]

Veron--I'm ordering that supertaster test today.

Bookstore Piet--I wanted to send you a picture of my children drinking oj with straws that twist around over their ears and around their eyes like glasses but I couldn't find it. They love chicken and stars soup sipped through a straw. Straws are key to childhood cuisine, I've discovered.

[Deborah Dowd]

I totally agree. There is no "magic bullet" (or in this case, magic broccoli) to make kids eat a variety of healthy foods. Expose them early and often, limit convenience foods and don't get discouraged. Sometimes the fussiest eaters grow out of it! I am against a nutrition strategy that encourages us to lie to our kids!

[Rachael]

Well, I certainly dont have kids, but I still think you make a pretty valid point. Nobody wants spinach in their brownies, and hardly anyone is going to be fooled by such a thing.

LOL.